NCT Phoenix & Roadside Oddities

This past weekend I drove to Phoenix for the grand opening of the NCT Phoenix Improv Theatre - which is a sister theatre to the NCT Theatre that I perform with in San Diego. The NCT Phoenix is run by Dorian and Krissy Lenz who used to perform in San Diego, they are both originally from Phoenix. Why would anyone leave San Diego for Phoenix you may ask? Why give up the cool ocean breezes for sweltering urban sprawl surrounded by scorpion and cactus? HERE is the reason--- this little girl. She loves scorpions and thinks that they're crunchy and delicious.

You gonna eat that scorpion, or can I have it?

Dorian and Krissy moved back to Phoenix because they had a little Zoe and wanted to raise her where she could be with both sets of grandparents.

NCT and Improv have been a big part of both Dorian and Krissy's lives so when they made the move back to Phoenix they had hopes of opening up a theatre of their own. After a couple years of very hard work they were able to make it happen... so I made the trek east for their grand opening. Which meant six hours of this--

What I wouldn't give for some road-rage about now.

And lots and lots of this...

Dry heat? Wet heat? It's still HEAT! So shut up!

The drive from LA to Phoenix takes about 6 hours, and once you're out of LA traffic it's really not a bad drive. Just straight on through the desert. I arrived in the late afternoon, checked into my hotel and then headed over to the NCT Theatre.

Wow! Real neon! Actually it's a bug zapper.

Dorian and Krissy's theatre is quite nice, with plenty of room - there's even an extra space where they can run workshops and classes. The theatre space itself is great, and seats 99 comfortably, or 115 uncomfortably.

This "Grand Opening" was the official opening of the theatre, however they had done what's called a "soft opening" a few months earlier. This gave the improv performers a chance to get some shows under their belts before the big opening. While the group is still new, many of the performers have prior experience with improv or stand-up. In a little under a year, the Phoenix improv team has started with a strong foundation of players.

Why can't you just smile pretty and not make a face?

On Friday night - the first night of the grand opening - Dorian was short two players (one got called into work, the other got food poisoning) so I was able to jump in and play the shows. I had a blast!

Dorian in the "green room" getting ready for the show.

Dorian's favorite part of the night... counting the ticket money!

Hallway and main entrance to the theatre, all funky and designed by Krissy.

The show.

Thank God we said "paper" when they asked us "paper or plastic".

Me with Krissy. I used to think it was odd that she had
a Nightmare Before Christmas tattoo on her shoulder,
but that's nothing compared to the third arm growing out of her head.

The subject line for this entry includes "...& Roadside Oddities". And there were a few that I encountered on this trip. The most bizarre was in Phoenix at an outdoor mall. There were giant (like 15' tall) bronze rabbits around a fountain. I could find no plaque or sign explaining their presence, so I'll assume that they're evil.

Ooo, I smell carrots. Was that you?

While on the way back to LA I passed by a weird trailer park... I guess "weird" and "trailer park" are sort of redundant. But this was in Quarzsite Arizona. The only green plants were the orderly palm trees around all of the trailers. I guess it looks kind of nice. But considering that there really wasn't anything else around, this stuck out like a toothless Mormon trying to eat a coconut on the Mayflower.

Finally, we each have our own family tree!

At one of my gas stops I had to get a shot of this... the picture does not come close to giving you the scale, the size, the sheer immenseness... but this was one big-ass flag! It wasn't just huge! It was big-ass huge!

I dunno what it is, everyday I climb this pole and just feel so.. damn patriotic.

And then on both my drive out and back I passed by field after field of wind-powered generators. I'd seen pictures of them before, but it's really impressive when you drive through one of these "wind farms".

Are we flying yet? Holy crap! Where are the wings?!

GEEKWORLD!

I admit I'm a geek. I'm not a sports guy, although I played some basketball and ran track in High School. I've never been a jock, so I guess I fall into the "theatre geek" category. I attend comic-con most summers, primarily out of curiosity and because it's an important "meet n' greet" landscape for the line of work that I do.

This past weekend was the first weekend of the Renaissance Faire in Erwindale, CA - just east of Pasadena. I've only been to one "Ren Faire" in my life, as had Emily, so we decided to check this out, figuring it would be a fun afternoon on a Saturday. Our friends Rob and Terri joined us... no, we did not dress up - I left my codpiece at home.

Emily, Rob, & Terri experiencing the wonders of the faire!
Rob was as giddy as a wee lass.

The faire ended up being a great time. At first we stuck out like lobsters at a rodeo, because most everyone at the faire was in some sort of costume, boddice, or covered in mud and straw - we weren't... well, not until the end of the day. Eventually more visitors like ourselves arrived, so we didn't feel quite so self-conscious.

There was plenty to see, do, eat, and spend money on. There were several stages of performers, some that were very impressive. Much of it was good n' bawdy, the way comedy was meant to be.

Ye have been warned.

The Poxy Boggards sing the praises of ale, women and hey-nonny-nonny.

The costumes people were wearing - and this is the majority of the folks walking around - were amazing and quiet elaborate. While snapping pictures of some of the more stately attired, I got to meet the Queen.

Off with my head!
Wait, no... that's not right.
Oh, God I'm a terrible monarch.

Ack--- cough... slow down, I swallowed a bug.

Medieval pole vaulters.

This army sucks!
There's no way I can kill someone with a trombone.

The court ladies farting guild.
Where the word "blunderbuss" was first coined.

Not real jousting.

Real jousting--- with Sting.

It was a relatively short, but full day of wandering around and observing the lengths at which people will go to for something they enjoy. The jousting was very impressive. Say what you want about the Ren folk, but guys on horseback, in full armor, speeding at each other with lances - even if they're made to break - takes some skill and nerve.

BIG HAPPENINGS!

So I got married... but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Oh crap! I didn't realize I'd have to wear a dress for this!

Actually the pic above is me wearing Emily's bachelorette party veil-thingy. She thought it'd make for a "cute picture". So much for that theory.

A lot has happened in the past couple of months since my last post... I'll give a quick over-view and try to catch things up...

Like I said, I got married, back on February 22nd. So as the date approached there was a bachelor party that began at the Santa Anita Race track...

We may look like winners, but we smell like losers!

By the end of my bachelor party I was drinking wine with these two weirdos. And I thought there'd be strippers.

Prof. Johann and Dr. Varbles welcome you to
das cheez festival undt onion schmelt!

Next, I bought a funky hat for the wedding trip...

Gee, nobody would ever beat me up for wearing this.

Emily and I flew to Hawaii (the Island of Kaua'i)...

This shore is nice!

We had a BBQ on the beach with family and friends the day before the wedding...

My 6th Mai Tai and counting...

I put on a white suit and stared into the sun...

This suit is operating at 10,000 watts. Guess where I keep the batteries.

The ceremony began and included palm fronds, flowers, and smashing coconuts. Crazy Hawaiians

It looks like Tigger exploded... I'm not cleaning it up.

We exchanged vows...

So, once I've cracked all your knuckles, that means we're married?

And that was it... before we knew it... the wedding was over.

There's no chance any of this could attract bees, ya' think?

The next day a bunch of us went on a short hike up the Na Pali Coast...

We were forced to eat half the group just to stay alive.
The little boy was delicious!

Emily and I flew to the Big Island for a week-long honeymoon. It wasn't quite what we expected...

This must be what the Mars Rover felt like when it landed.

Lots of lava rock. Not the lush, tropical paradise we were expecting. It was still quite beautiful though... in a weird "driving through the desert from LA to Las Vegas" sorta' way.

So, we went to the other side of the Big Island and found more lava rock, but also TIKIS!

Peek-a-Boo, I put a curse on you!

We came back to the mainland. Both of us had colds for nearly 3 weeks. Stupid Tiki curse.

Once home, I got back to really important matters... like discovering how great the new Doctor Who is!

Season 4 is about to start, I can't wait! I'm a geek, so what?

I also got back to work on the project I've been working on that's an Italian/French/American co-production, and it's been nothing but impossible deadlines and ridiculously frustrating notes from the Europeans. So we just had to leave town and headed up to Big Bear for the weekend, and it snowed!

Think of it as a snow-cone, without the cone,
delivered at deliciously high velocity.
It's so yummy it'll hurt.

Since Emily's from Florida she didn't grow up with snow, so this was a big fun deal for her. For me it was cold, wet, and slushy (like my last physical)... but unlike my last physical, this was a good time with a lot less fingers pokin' in places that I didn't want.

Yes! I can withstand anything nature throws at me
so long as I have my blue butt-shield!

We even built a snowman...

So, um... can you tell that these are plugs?

Then this past weekend we planted a lime tree--- I'm tired of having to go to the store for limes to put in my Corona's and mai tais. Once this baby takes root, it'll be limes all the time!

Oh c'mon little tree, why the sour face?

And like everyone does on Easter Sunday we ended up at the Santa Anita Race Track... but this time I had my hat.

This ticket ain't even worth the $20 I paid for it... rotten losing horse.

So that's the hap on all that's been goin' on the past couple of months and the reason for my lack of updates. My late New Years resolution is to try to keep this post more current--- like once a week. But I make no guarantees.

Star Trek: The Tour

Okay, so I'm a Star Trek geek. I'm a big fan of the classic '60's series. I'd heard that Star Trek: The Tour was going to begin its journey down in Long Beach. So, looking for something to do on Sunday, I suggested to Emily that we check it out - to say that she was "underwhelmed" at the prospect of being thrust into another "Comic Con" type of environment would be a gross understatement. But, being the trouper that she is, Emily agreed to indulge my geekiness and go where no woman has gone before.

Hey... this looks like some sort of marketing ploy... hmmm.

I grabbed tickets for us online, and they're not cheap, $35 per person. Wow! This must be something REALLY BIG that Star Trek fans are gonna love! After getting the tickets from Ticketmaster and paying all their "convenience fees" the total cost of two tickets was a little over 80 bucks.

Waiting with anticipation the wonders of Trek that we are about to behold!

We were given a designated arrival time - 10am (when the tour opens). So we were on the road early and made it down to Long Beach in plenty of time. We waited outside the door with the growing crowd. Emily noticed that her gender was well into the minority. Interestingly, we did not see anyone in costume.

Finally the doors opened and we were let in. Everyone poured inside. There were a few Star Trek props set up, most notably, a shooting model of the USS Enterprise from Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

Holy ship! I just had a warp-core breach in my pants!

I gotta admit, this was impressive. We geeks all filed in, looking upward at the gleaming hull of this icon of space fantasy... and then I noticed that we were not actually IN the exhibit yet. Looking ahead, we saw the entryway where several "uniformed" tour employees waited. We were in a holding area. No one had yet ventured into the actual exhibit. They were all beached by the siren song of ol' NCC-1701-A rotating just above their heads. The fools. I grabbed Emily and we headed for the entry gate.

Our tickets were scanned, and we moved into the exhibit hall. Not a soul was there. The place was wide-open and devoid of people. And then I turned to my right and saw---

The bridge of the original Enterprise! (Actual picture that I took!)

I was dumbfounded. Before me lay a nearly exact, full-sized replica of the Enterprise's bridge. And no one was seeing this but me and Emily. It was like walking face-first into a piece of history. I fumbled for my camera, but then the red doors of the turbo lift opened, and a uniformed gentlemen waved for me to come up and sit in Captain Kirk's chair. I nearly cried... okay, I did cry. But only a little.

By the time we'd found our way around to the turbo lift entrance and onto the bridge, people were starting to fill the exhibit hall. Once Emily and I were in our seats on the bridge, there was a long line of people queued up, wanting and waiting to be next.

The set-up was such that you (and your friends) position yourself on the bridge and the ST tour has a camera that takes a picture that you can purchase when you leave the exhibit. Since Emily and I were the first ones there, the camera and playback monitor weren't quite ready - so they had to take multiple shots. This took awhile, about 10 to 12 minutes. So I had plenty of time to sit and savor the look of the the bridge and press all the buttons I wanted. I'm sure that I depleted the ship's phaser banks and launched all the photon torpedoes in the armory. (Yes, I'm aware that you CAN'T do that from Kirk's chair, you have to use the navigation console... but it's MY fantasy so suck it up.)

Say hello to my little friend!

While trying to get the camera to work, the tour personnel took several pictures of me and Emily on the bridge - each time I tried a different Captain Kirk pose that had the other geeks waiting in line laughing... Emily was on her own, she just had to look pretty, damn-it! This was man stuff, I had no time to tell her how to pose! For the final picture I decided on combining Start Trek series sensibilities, given my chrome-dome similarity to Capt. Picard from Star Trek the Next Generation, I leaned forward and made with an "Engage!" command. The Trek geeks loved it. And that ended up being the picture we kept.

Mister Sulu, I want you to keep both hands in plain sight!

Finally, our time on the bridge was over. We got to see the picture on the monitor. Mr. Spock, Lt. Sulu, and Ensign Chekov had been digitally added to fill out the posts on the bridge. I was giddy, having lived out a childhood fantasy and sat on the bridge of the Enterprise. I couldn't wait to see what was next!

By now the exhibit was filling up with other trekkers, trekkies, and fellow sci-fi misfits. With great anticipation we headed off to see what else there was... but sadly, everything after this was a let down. Sure, there were several other classic Star Trek set ups, like the Guardian of Forever from City on the Edge of Forever.

Man, if I could just get a Krispy Kreme this size!... I'd need
a really BIG cup of coffee to go with it.

There was a transporter room set-up, but not from the classic series, where you could watch yourself get "beamed" off the ship....

Ensign!
Could you possibly find a baggier, more mismatched uniform to wear?!
No sir, I couldn't!

There was also a full-scale replica of the command bridge from Star Trek the Next Generation, but it wasn't something I could get too excited about... nor could my friend Rob who visited the Tour a few days after us.

Rob, napping, while Mike and John take command
of the Next Generation Bridge.

The exhibit hall was lined with several display cases, mostly of costumes. But honestly, there was not all that much stuff to see. I expected more authentic TV show and movie props, and less built "attractions" that were meant to draw you in to spend more money. Groan....

Scotty's uniform, and its date.

Some of the other "sets" they'd put together for the exhibit were this hallway.

Stop following me or I'm gonna tell the Captain!

There were a few motion-ride type simulators too - but nothing that I felt like I HAD to get on and try. After walking around for about another 20 minutes or so we had pretty much seen everything. The initial rush that I'd had sitting on the classic Enterprise bridge was gone.... what remained was.... disappointment.

The whole exhibit was poorly laid-out and people were just wandering around, not certain what they were supposed to be looking at or where to go next. It felt more like a badly run carnival rather than a tour through the history of Star Trek.

Why?!! WHY?!! WHY CAN'T THIS BE FUN?!!!

In the middle of the exhibit was a closed-off area with a queue. This looked like something big, so we got in line. But, we were told by the tour staff only to enter if we were ready to leave the event for good because, after watching whatever this was we were in line for, we wouldn't be allowed back in to the exhibit hall. This seemed awkward, especially since there were no signs telling us ANYTHING about what we were standing in line for. We gave the exhibit hall one last quick look around... there wasn't really anything else to see, so we stepped on into this "final exit event".

Sad to say, this last "event" was pretty bad. Perhaps I just wasn't in the mood at this point. It was a history lesson being taught by Wesley Crusher to new Star Fleet recruits (us) when (predictably) the Klingons (or someone) attacked... I really wasn't paying much attention at this point. Once it was over, we were shown the exit and spilled out into their Star Trek gift shop... a gift shop that really didn't have much to offer.... oh yeah, and there was a snack bar dressed up to look like the "Ten Forward Lounge" from Next Generation next to the gift shop. It was just burgers n' fries with Star Trek sounding names. Mmmm, a warp corndog and a phaser Philly cheese steak!

In the end, Star Trek The Tour was fairly lame, I'm sorry to say. I found the whole thing lacking in organization, style, and especially lacking in the number of authentic props, costumes, and items on display. I'd been to the Star Trek the Experience in Las Vegas, and even to a couple of Star Trek conventions and on all those occasions I felt like I had seen a hell of a lot more.

So we looked around for a few more minutes and picked up a copy of the picture that had been taken of us on the bridge... a 5 x 7 was $20. I figured that we'd come this far, might as well pick it up. And then, as we were leaving, I noticed someone walk right past me...

Armin Shimerman

He played the character of Quark, on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Armin was there to sign autographs and they were ushering him into the exhibit that we'd just left... and could not return to.

Armin as Quark
Make-up does wonders for his looks.

Deep Space Nine wasn't one of the incarnations of Star Trek that I'd watched - so I didn't feel like I was missing an opportunity by not getting his autograph. So as he passed by I waved and then kicked him. He's a little guy, it was easy. He screamed like a girl.

Okay-okay, just kidding. I didn't kick him or anything... but I was close enough to have done so if I'd wanted.

Emily and I left Star Trek: The Tour feeling underwhelmed and let down. Perhaps my initial rush at experiencing some time on the classic bridge had somehow set my expectations too high. But I don't think that was really the case. We were able to look around and see everything that was there in about an hour, and if you include the $15 they charged for parking, the whole "event" cost us about $125. Ugh...

Is Star Trek The Tour something I'd recommend that you check out? Eh... not really.

However, despite all my grousing about Star Trek The Tour, for me it was worth it just to sit on the bridge of the original Enterprise and dream about driving around the galaxy in THIS...

Mr. Sulu! WHAT did I say about your hands?!